Well today for the first time I was homesick. Not only did I really want to be home and see everyone and just give my family and friends a hug and get some in return, but it's spring at home. Don't get me wrong, I'm not being flippant. It's just that all my memories of Phillip's accident and planning his memorial service and having everyone we know over at my parents' house is intermingled with warm, spring days. Not your usual rainy and cloudy funeral scene as in a movie.
I can still remember almost every detail about those weeks in March two years ago. It's strange. I can remember talking to Herman in the office one night about naming children James (not Riley though - he wasn't in the picture yet) and Janae coming from San Francisco and Sophia flying in from Illinois. I remember strange things like Janae telling me she liked my shirt one afternoon. And picking out the photos for the church service and the music with Lindsey and Herman. Everything is still all there. And I don't ever want to forget it.
The other weird thing is that I am now older than Phillip. But that doesn't make sense because he's my big brother.
So today was a little strange, not being back in California. Last year this was a good day for remembering him and going to the cemetary and visiting with some friends. Today I was at work and not really free to go home early, which I really wanted to do.
It actually made today worse I think, not being with everyone. But I am so blessed to have a husband who caught me when I got home and gave me a hug and just let me cry on his shoulder. And as I was doing some errands I started to get sad again. But then I remembered that Phillip isn't sad. He's with our Lord now. I am just so thankful for the gift of life that God has given to us through Christ. It is our eternal hope and my salvation. So even though I miss Phillip a lot, I know my time here will be over one day and I will get to see him again.
Praise the Lord!
(And Esther - thanks for your note and your prayers!)
1 comment:
I think the Lord was working in people's hearts on Sunday- at BOTH Ripon Grace and Comman Ground we sang "I'll Fly Away". Not just a coincidence the Sunday after the anniversary.
Post a Comment